AIM-less

YY4Myslf (10:29:17 PM):Living a life and seeing all the diff paths to take. I wonder what it is that caused the pain. What caused the mistakes?

kupidaintstupid (10:32:06 PM):Mistakes? I mistakenly mistook a mistake for a mistake, not considering that it was a risk I had to take. Living life on the brink of acceptance; I must accept my mistakes as fortune.

YY4Myslf(10:32:46 PM):So with this fortune, not just a cookie, I live the life of a new signed rookie. New to the game. Every step, I decided to remember the mistakes for it would only be a mistake to forget.

kupidaintstupid (10:35:35 PM):So what the hell did I get from all of it? Do I move on? Do big things? Or be a bum on the side of street smelling my pits? Do I risk a presently good idea for shit? Or do I wait and sit? Until someone's mistakes become my destiny.

YY4Myslf(10:37:27 PM):Its like all the confusion internal and ex. It’s the only thing stopping me from moving to the next. Plateau, height, no matta fact my zenith, I want to go so far my mind holds me back but at the same time has me feigning.

kupidaintstupid (10:41:20 PM):We learn from the past but the events become monsters...everyone is a snake, a thief or imposter. If your mind is holding you back, you're gonna’ have a slow start, the key is to connect your mind to your heart.

YY4Myslf(10:43:02 PM):And with that connection made standoffish even when afraid it seems I reach the fork in the road and go straight, no dead end but maybe a prolonging of fate? Or preparation...

kupidaintstupid (10:45:41 PM):Preparation....of time wasted. Fear is a bitch. Believe me, I am she. I reached a fork in the road as well, but each prong leads to a cliff that I am more than ready to dive off of.

YY4Myslf(10:48:03 PM):Hmmm so taken the shift and the jump notice jump not dive, for maybe after I fall instead of sinking I will rise, Can u hear them... The leaves dance to the music of the possibilities.

kupidaintstupid (10:52:37 PM):Oh the music...my saving grace. So powerful I’m glad that something can feel the way it makes me feel. Sort of the ways u make me feel.

YY4Myslf(10:54:19 PM): His eyes dance to the rhythm of her fingers on letters on screens, yet inside he hears the silence of the unknown scream, he wants to open up so she can see thru his heart, he wants her to see he is not superman, and the cape is to hide-- not to protect her.

kupidaintstupid (10:57:09 PM):I shitted on superman yesterday... when he came by and tried to rescue me from a burning building. I told him, "This fire feels good. It burns but I yearn for it." Superman is whack because the super man, super, fantastic man I know...is black.

YY4Myslf(10:59:35 PM):He chuckles at the vision of her shittin on the cape, closes his eyes and walks hoping he walks into her arms not his relived mistake, he reaches for her hand hoping that she comes near, little does she know that because of abuse, simply holding hands is a fear.

kupidaintstupid (11:11:12 PM):Well then she tells him not to be afraid knowing her words probably won't help. The same words a mother tells her child before getting a shot or the same words a murderer says before he lets out a shot. She tells him that she is afraid too. Not afraid of what he might do to her, but rather of what the past will do to them. She understands if he doesn’t want to hold her hand, all she cares is that his hands are open

YY4Myslf(11:22:40 PM):Sighs in. A chest eyes closed with emotional direction, yea that's what they say, “love is blind attraction due to personal predilection,” "or is it a depiction or dereliction of a past......love, lover, shyt maybe a mother....shyt maybes its a mother

kupidaintstupid (11:30:18 PM):Well predilection in this situation is a sickening likeness or a healthy infatuation. The dereliction that creeps into your mind is gnawing at your behind and its decaying your cornea because you cant make out what’s in front of you. The neon spots of a painful light are lingering, and that is understandable...scientific even. And you’re right because love is blind. But love is also paralyzing...so hold my hand....heck...you won't even feel it.

YY4Myslf(11:38:54 PM):Hand shakes as it reaches out so much deeper then just holding a hand, its beyond the fear of him not being the best man or that her heart cannot stand and will falter fail maybe even run, for it was him who lived had a mother who didn't want her son but I can’t dwell on what was and what could be. Opens his eyes sees a newfound love shoulder and heart, takes one step, isn't much but it’s a start.

kupidaintstupid (11:47:46 PM):She tells him that comparing apples and oranges will give him one hell of a punch. She reassures him that whatever likeness or love exists from he to she is one that goes above appreciation. The calendar says one thing, but true time says another and she's sorry about his mother who made him afraid of the day that has come. And now his patience is unraveled by the enforcement of a mother who cast him aside and traveled, but she assures that this step he has decided to take will somehow lead him to his fate. And she's happy that she can affect it now, she knows its good, but she does not know how.