Asexualizing the mind

What happens when life happens?

I have discovered the sexual lull that occurrs within the first two years of one's college graduation. It is a time when the checks start coming in as well as the bills. Us recent grads begin to act responsibly, and we begin to entertain our own independence. If we are not living on our own, more than likely we try to contribute to our parents' household expenses so we don't seem like 100% freeloaders. But saddness often blankets my responsible aire because it seems as if romance has disappeared. There seems to be no money or time to go out on the social scenes anymore because most of us "adults" use the weekends to take care of the bureaucratic elements of our lives. Me, being the hopeless romantic that I am, has begun to build a wall of sinister thoughts regarding relationships and the opposite sex. I'm less afraid of "keeping it real" because I have discovered that romance and relationships do NOT pay the bills.

Once upon a time in high school and college, my good grades were nonetheless second to the thoughts of my crush, and my cute outfits were motivated by who I was destined to walk by before home room. Now, my work performance is all i think about, and the reason i dress up everyday is because I kinda have to.

I see men. And I see them everywhere. Black ones. White ones. Mixed ones. Tall ones. Short ones. Ugly ones. fiiiioooooneee ones. Do any of the latter make me look twice? Used to. But not anymore sadly. I used to feel my libido dancing around on my insides whenever I saw a tall chocolate piece of professional man, but errr now...its kinda like ehhh--what the f*&% ever.

But there are some blessings to be found in dry spells. Self discovery (of many kinds), tying loose ends, and enjoying the small stuff. Asexualizing the mind is rather similar to a butterfly going into a cacoon. We shield ourselves from outside elements so much, that outside elements begin to ignore us. We pay attention to ourselves. We feed off of ourselves. We listen to ourselves, and we rely solely on ourselves. Until one day, when we love ourselves so much we cannot contain it anymore, we emerge as a beautiful butterfly--hoping to not catch an STD.

Take time to find yourself. Take this time to go on dates, see a movie, and to wine and dine YOURSELF. After all, dry spells always make a man who can make it rain that much better.